Proverbs 13:12

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Wonder


I look at her and wonder......do you think about where she is?


I listen to her speak and wonder.....does she sound at all like you?


I breath in deep to smell her and wonder......do you remember what she smelled like? Did you even stop to smell her for those first few moments?


I touch her and wonder.....do you long to feel her and have her put her arms around your neck?


I gaze into her eyes and wonder.....are yours as dark as hers?


I hear her laugh and wonder.....do you ever long to hear that sound?


I lay down beside her to rest and wonder....when you lay down and close your eyes, do you see her face?


I wonder.....if you knew her now as this strong, intelligent, beautiful, funny, thriving 2 1/2 year old.....could you still give her up? I wonder......how could you?


I think I will be haunted by these thoughts for as long as I am her mother.....I wonder, will you?

9 comments:

e-Mom said...

Oh, no words. Just sadness. How can there be unwanted children in the world? (((Hugs)))

Tami Boesiger said...

LOVE this post, Rachelle.

Brenda said...

I loved this Rachelle. You put an adoptive mom's thoughts into words so well.

Karen said...

I have to agree with the other comments. I love it & have wondered these things too. It breaks my heart to think what their birth moms are missing & what they are feeling, but SO very thankful God gave us these beautiful children. I pray for these moms (& dads, too), for peace for them. To somehow let them know how much their baby's are loved & cherished!

Rachelle S. said...

Kleenex please.

Denise said...

So true - and spoken so eloquently. Byron was on a flight last week and saw a flight attendant who he said looked just like Kenzie. He said it gave him a glimpse into the future and got him thinking exactly what you said here. Not a day goes by that I look at either Kenzie or John and wonder the same things. Their birthdays are the hardest for me - I always wonder how deep their birth moms sadness is, especially on that day, and pray that God hold them close.

Whitty's Four said...

The birth mothers surely sacrificed and that love gave us a baby girl that we adore.I wish we could meet them and thank them for this amazing gift. For now I thank God for putting a desire in my heart to reach out to a orphan. It has truly blessed us.

Kristy said...

Wow.
I too, share your wonder........
More thoughts on this - I'll just have to email (or call!) you.
Blessings friend ~

Edie said...

This made me cry! What do these women go through? I am reading your book.
Love you and thank you for taking the boys!