Wonder

I look at her and wonder......do you think about where she is?

I listen to her speak and wonder.....does she sound at all like you?

I breath in deep to smell her and wonder......do you remember what she smelled like? Did you even stop to smell her for those first few moments?

I touch her and wonder.....do you long to feel her and have her put her arms around your neck?

I gaze into her eyes and wonder.....are yours as dark as hers?

I hear her laugh and wonder.....do you ever long to hear that sound?

I lay down beside her to rest and wonder....when you lay down and close your eyes, do you see her face?

I wonder.....if you knew her now as this strong, intelligent, beautiful, funny, thriving 2 1/2 year old.....could you still give her up? I wonder......how could you?

I think I will be haunted by these thoughts for as long as I am her mother.....I wonder, will you?

Silent Tears, Again

Just had to post about this again. I didn't realize it before, but the author of "Silent Tears", has a blog, with pictures of some of the children she talks about in her book. Seeing the actual faces of some of the children she wrote about......tears at my heart. Please, please take a moment to check out her blog, and see some of the faces of children that are alone, scared, hurting, who just need someone to care about them.

She has also received some criticism for some of the things she wrote about in her book. I don't understand how you criticize someone who is only writing about the abuse they witnessed, first hand, who did as much as she could, under the extreme circumstances she faced, and continues even now, to make a difference in their lives. Unless you have walked in her shoes, and spent time in a place as hopeless, as an orphanage, don't criticize her. I don't care how "nice" it seems, it is still an orphanage. A place where abandoned, unwanted, parent less, children live. Period. There is no substitute for a loving family. And no matter how different culturally, China is to us, it still does not give anyone the right to abuse, withhold food from, or ignore innocent children.

There, I will stop preaching for now. Just please check out her blog if you have the chance.

Also, there is great news about the family with the sick daughter, God has moved mountains, and they are getting ready to bring her home soon. Here is their blog to follow also. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

9770

Here are some pictures to enjoy over the weekend. We started combining corn, as of yesterday. Good thing it was delivered on Tuesday. Mark will spend A LOT of time in this machine for the next couple months.

The new JD 9770 combine, minus a header.
Ellie likes the wheel!
Daisy's hair is growing back : )
We even have sunflowers in the flower garden.

Silent Tears

Just finished reading this book called "Silent Tears", by Kay Bratt. It is a MUST read for all of you adoptive parents of China children. I would also like all my friends who are considering adoption, to also read this book. It will give you a new understanding of what these children we are now loving, could have faced before they were put in our arms. Kay spent over 4 years volunteering in a Chinese orphanage. She writes down what she witnessed while there, and how it affected her. Also, how she tried to love these children and show them some compassion in their bleak world. She was also able to make some small changes in the way they were cared for, and helped many get some necessary surgeries.

Please read this if you have the chance. It is at times hard, but it has given me a new appreciation for my daughter, and the challenges she may have faced early on. I feel so blessed that God picked her, to rise above it all, and be placed in our family. I still believe Ellie was in a "good" orphanage, but some of the things Kay describes in her book, probably go on in most orphanages, just due to the lack of time, workers, and because of some Chinese customs.

I can't say that I could adopt again, but after reading this book, I really feel like I need to do more. So watch out, all you friends of mine, who have ever even mentioned adoption to me, because I'm going to be praying hard that God uses you to accomplish His will in a child who so desperately, just needs to be loved and wanted.

One more thing.....the title of the book is very telling. I also used those words to describe the first time I saw Ellie. "For the first few moments, she stood there, silent, as big crocodile tears streamed down her cheeks". I can only imagine how many other times in her first 14 months of life she cried those same quiet tears, trying to console herself in her small, lonely world.

On a happy side note, I am sooo proud of my boys!! They both chose to be baptized this last Sunday.......following God's command to do so.

Happy Birthday!

Happy 43rd birthday honey!! We love you!
Good bye big sister, thanks for your help moving mom!
Good night sleeping beauty!

Sunflowers

Aren't they pretty??!!
My new landscaping!

Labor Day Weekend

Ellie blowing bubbles!
My Men!
Rachelle on the deck.
My field of sunflowers across the road.

I will be downloading better pictures of them soon. This is the first year we have ever planted sunflowers. I have been asking Mark for years, to plant some for me, and finally this year he did! They are just across the road from our house. Beautiful!